Hiatus

It's been awhile, and I'm sorry for that, but I come bearing bad news. I have a lot going on in real life now. A lot of family issues that I wish no one else had to go through. Issues that make you question everything you previously believed in. Issues that if you were on the other side, you'd feel completely different about it. Issues that make you feel completely judgmental for ever creating an opinion on something that seems so black or white, without knowing the whole story. There is so much gray out there.

I need to step away and set my focus on non-computer things. I'm tired of refreshing google, waiting for news updates and I just can't do it anymore. So I am stepping away for a bit, for my own sanity. I will return, at some point of another, but I will not blog about this again. I feel it's not my story to tell, especially with so many hurting.

So here's until we meet again.

How Out of Character of Me!

I admit that I am not an uber-mom. Far from it. Cadie is fed formula by choice and uses disposable diapers. And somewhere down the line, she'll dunk double stuffed Oreos into non-organic milk. So sue me.

So I was genuinely surprised when I had the urge to make my own baby food. It has nothing to do with cost of baby food, or making sure I know what my baby is eating. I think it has more to do with actually spending the time to make her food instead of just popping open a jar. Ok, so the cost has a little bit to do with it.

We had ham, crock pot mashed potatoes, and green beans for dinner tonight. I decided to go ahead and blend up the remaining green beans. So I still have 2 weeks until she can start eating it, but I figure it'll keep for a month, so I should be good. I am beyond excited that I finally got to use the magic bullet!

Fix It Friday

I'm home from a relaxing two weeks visiting family, so I promise this blog will be updated more.

Yesterday's photo was quite the challenge. I am addicted to cloning right now, so you'll see a lot of that used below. I'm really happy with how it turned out.

Before:
After:

Fix It Friday

This picture was taken by one of the official contributors over at I heart faces. It fits into their weekly photo challenge baby feet. I'd like to eventually do the weekly challenges, but it's kind of overwhelming at this point.

Original:



Edit 1:

Edit 2:
Hope you like them! Check out how other people edited these pics here.

Horses!

I pass this field of horses every day. I always want to stop and take pictures, but don't because I'm on company time. So today, on the last day of school, I packed up my camera and talked my husband into a little pit stop on the way home. I got to play with my Canon 75-300mm (think far range) which I never ever get the opportunity to break out. I'm really pleased with how they came out.

BTW- I just love this baby horse!

Enjoy!

Fix-It Friday (a few days late!)

Hello, my name is Danielle and I'm addicted to taking and editing pictures. I decided to take a break from editing Cadie's pictures for her memory book and took on a challenge from www.iheartfaces.blogspot.com. I hope to do this every week.

This week's photo was submitted by JaimeLee at Candidly Grateful. Here is what she wrote about her photo: "This is a photo of my twins at 6 weeks old. I love the photo because of their interaction and their faces, but I feel like it’s a little drab or flat. It needs some life."

Here's the original:


And here's a couple of edits I did:


I didn't write my exact steps down, but this is what I remember:

1) Cleaned up and softened skin tones with coffeshop's Baby Powder Room
2) Tweaked with the Brightness and Contrast
3) Used a soft brush to color in the background
4) Applied some textures to just the background
5) Boosted the white
6) Cropped the photo

Then I added the Coffeeshop Creamy Chocolate action and adjusted the opacity until I got the look I wanted. I added a few more textures (erasing on their bodies on all but the top one) to give it a vintage look.

I hope that these have the "life" that the poster wanted.

You can check out how others edited this picture here.

The post where I apologize AND sing!

Its been a long time
I shouldn't have left you
Without a dope beat to step to
Step to, step to, step to
Step to, step to
Freaky-freaky
It's been a long time
I shouldn't have left you
Without a dope beat to step to
Step to, step to, step to
Step to, step to
Freaky-freaky, baby girl uh

I've been a very bad blogger and I apologize for my absence. I've returned back to work and I admit, it's tiring. I am so exhausted, I thought all the way up to lunch that it was Wednesday. Ugh, I was so disappointed when my coworkers pointed out that that wasn't the case.

Cadie's not taking the adjustment very well. She's been super cranky all week and just wants to be held. I just can't wait until August when school starts back up and I have to drop her off at a babysitter's instead of my FIL watching her. Because I'm sure she'll do great with that. I'm sorry, I drip in really bad sarcasm when I'm tired.

I have work tomorrow, Friday and half day on Tuesday. Then we get to spend a few days together as a family. Two Mondays from now, Cadie and I board a plan to NJ to spend 2 weeks with my family (OMFG I am SO excited!@!&!").

So as much I'd love to tell you I'll be posting soon and often, I can't. I need to survive until summer break and then I plan to fully enjoy my little vacation. I promise after that, I'll be back in full swing. I'm thinking of adding a new feature during the summer, but we'll see how I feel after my trip.

PS- if you were wondering what the lyrics were from, click here.

2 months old!

So, this is a bit late, but Cadie turned 2 months old on the 8th. I cannot believe that my sweet little newborn is growing so fast! She'll be borrowing the keys to the car before we know it!

We had her two month check up today and the bug was awesome! She cried for a few moments after getting her shots, but was fast asleep before we walked out the door. Tylenol has kept her pretty sedated since. She's over twelve pounds and right on track with all of her measurements!







So we're sitting in the waiting room. This lady (picture this: heels, crop pants, and tube top) comes in and makes a big stink up at the receptionist because she forgot her daughter's insurance card. She says she'll drop it of tomorrow because she works at the hospital.

So she sits down and gets her cell phone out. Not even 5 minutes into waiting, her baby starts fussing and the woman just ignored her. The fussing quickly turned into crying, which turned into chocking sobbing screaming. Not only did she continue to ignore her, but she actually told the person on the phone multiple times that her daughter was fine (I guess they heard the ruckus through the phone). This went on for 30-45 freaking minutes. Everyone else in the waiting room looked at each other like this:

I wanted so badly to go pick the poor thing up and ask the mother which part of the hospital she worked in. If you can't take care of your own child, I definitely don't want you taking care of mine.

Mother's Day

We decided earlier this week to celebrate Mother's Day on Saturday instead of Sunday. It was basically to avoid the crowds. Tom and Cadie picked out a beautiful necklace for me. It's white gold with a heart-shaped aquamarine stone and diamond chips. It's absolutely beautiful and it's so special since it's Cadie's birth stone. They took me out for dinner to one of my favorite restaurants, a tiny little sushi place in town. I had not had sushi in well over a year, so let's just say I really enjoyed it. Then we came home, snuggled on the couch and watched Julie & Julia, which totally makes me want to learn how to cook. Not just mac n cheese type of cooking, either. The real kind.

We took it easy today. It was tough because not only was this my first Mother's Day, but it was the first without my mother in law. I wonder if these things ever get easier, and then realize that it probably won't. You never truly get over the loss and days like this just bring it back up to the surface. Eventually the pain decreases some, but you always remember.

The Happiest Place on Earth

is not at Disney World. It's in Cadie's nursery!


Yes, it doesn't matter how fussy or cranky she is, as soon as I put Cadie on her changing table, she's all smiles and giggles (or at least the beginning of giggles which at this point sounds like a giggle-cough). I don't know if it's because she knows she's getting a clean diaper (well, wouldn't you be happy, too?) or because we undress her for her favorite time of the day - bath time!!!- here, but I've got to say it's her favorite place in the house.

To put things into perspective...

Every Christmas growing up was the same song and dance. My mom would tell us that she was cutting back this year. Don't expect as much as you got last year. Christmas morning would come around and there would be just as many presents under that tree as every year before.

Now right after Cadie was born, we had a talk about how quickly the time goes. She really put it into perspective. Children start truly believing in Santa Claus when they're 3 or 4 and stop when they're 10-11. That's seven years. Seven years to indulge in the wide-eyed wonder that is a child's Christmas.

When you're a kid, that year in between Christmases seems like it lasts forever. Sometimes we wondered if Christmas would come at all. Like somehow the world has played some cruel trick and stopped so that we'll never enjoy opening another red and green wrapped gift ever again.

To a parent, that year goes by quickly and Christmas day is even faster. Blink and those seven years are gone. Like somehow the world has played some cruel trick and your little Santa Claus believer who asked for Barbies and GI Joes has been switched with a someone who wants tvs and stereos (they still call them stereos, right?).

My mom told me to enjoy every day, which is the best parenting advice I've gotten. During pregnancy, I was so afraid that something would go wrong that I wanted to speed through it. It wasn't until the last week before my induction that I realized that I hadn't really taken the time to enjoy what I had because I was so looking forward to what I was getting.

I will not do that for her growing up. I am totally enjoying her as she is. It fascinates me to see how quickly she's growing and what she's learning. Those seven years will go by in the blink of an eye, but when I get to the other side, I want to know that I enjoyed it as much as I could. If that means not seeing my tree from all the presents too, then so be it.

I normally don't do this, but...

I'm going to get a little political. There's an anti-Obama facebook group that's going around lately that you might have seen. It's based off of this saying:

Dear Lord, in the past year you have taken away my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favorite actress, Farrah Fawcett, my favorite musician, Michael Jackson, my favorite salesman, Billie Mays, and my favorite athlete, Chris Henry. I just wanted to let you know..... my favorite president is Barack Obama. Amen.

Bad, right? Well, there is an opposing group asking for this group to be removed because this statement is racist and unAmerican. People are up in arms because someone is "threatening" the president.

Some one with the best intent,
Went and killed the president,
Because he had the influence,
To massacre 10,000 men,
Wake me up from this great dream I can't believe my eyes

So someone killing the president is a good dream? Still pretty bad. Some of you will recognize these lyrics as coming from a Vayden song from two years ago. By deductive reasoning, I would guess this was about Bush. There were plenty of songs from that time period that were anti-Bush.

I'm not going to get into Obama/Bush bashing here. I am not going to say which party I choose to affiliate with. That wasn't the point of my post. My point is that no matter who we put in the oval office, there's going to be people that don't like it. Are jokes and songs about that person's death in bad taste and overall inappropriate? Yes. But it happens. It happened with Bush Sr. It happened with Clinton. It happened with Bush Jr and it'll happen with Obama. Heck, it even happens with people that don't make it to the White House. Did you know that the same prayer was said for Governor Christie (Republican) from NJ?

What happened to respect?

Memory Book

My twin cousins were really young when my grandmom passed away. My aunt, whose own mother had passed several years before, wanted her daughters to know who their grandmom was, so she put together some memory books. They were basically picture books that they would look at every night and share memories they had of her. My aunt was determined that they would remember mommom. It worked. Nine years later, they can still vividly recall special moments they shared.

I plan on doing something like this for my mother in law. Cadie never got to actually meet her, but I still think it's important for her and my husband and I to have something to share the memories with. My mother in law was so excited to become a first-time grandma and she loved this little girl oh so much. I will make sure Cadie knows that.

Sleep-deprived thought

So, as I was feeding Cadie her bottle just now, it occurred to me that she isn't like other babies I've had the pleasure of feeding. Most babies I've fed lay there contently. Eat, burp, eat. Cadie thrashes around constantly. Eat, flail about, knock bottle from mommy's hand, spazz out even more, scream as mommy adjusts her to pick up bottle, eats, flails, knocks, spazzes, screams, repeat. It's a viscous cycle.

All, I can say is that I am glad that we decided to formula feed. Seeing how violent she is when she eats makes the ta tas feel like they really dodged a bullet. You're welcome, ta tas.
Oh, and here's a picture of the pretty girl. The hubby and I had date night on Saturday and my father in law watched her for us. In celebration of us leaving her for a few hours for the first time, I dressed her up all cute and stuff. Enjoy!

Embroidery

My inlaws gave me a sewing/embroidery machine for my birthday last year and I've had so much fun embroidering everything in my house. So I got a little creative and opened up an etsy shop. Check it out here! I have custom bibs on there right now, but will soon be listing some onesies, bags, some tutus and a few other accesories!

Rough Day

I knew this day would come eventually. A friend of mine found out she was pregnant a few weeks after I did. I know some people would be jealous and "omg she's stealing my thunder!", but it wasn't like that at all. She and her husband are wonderful people who deserve this and I felt nothing but happiness for them.

As our pregnancies went along, we would compare and contrast the experiences we were going through. We talked names, the types of births we dreamed of, registries, you name it, we discussed it. I think we became a little closer after going through this wonderful experience together.

So what do I feel today when I hear she's gone into labor? Well, it's a mixture of emotions, really. First off, I'm so, so, so happy for them to meet their son. I'm excited because our children will be 6 weeks apart- perfect for future play dates! And I'm also a little sad.

I feel like in some way I was jipped. Not only was I cheated out of fully mourning my mother in law's passing, but cheated out of fully celebrating my daughter. I look back on it now and realize that I didn't spend a whole lot of time with her the first few days. Tom was down with his mother and my mom and grandpop could only do so much. That left me, highly medicated to my own devices. I remember being so doped up and tired that I kept falling asleep while feeding Cadie. So instead, nurses down in the nursery had to feed her. I feel guilty to this day.

I went into this with little expectations. I know women who get so caught up in the whole no med, vaginal birth, breastfeeding thing. When something goes wrong, they blame themselves. I wasn't going to do that. I wanted the meds. If I needed a c-section (which I did), than I was fine with it. I wasn't breastfeeding (that's another post for another day). I just wanted my daughter in my arms, healthy as can be.

And yet, I still look back at Cadie's birth with some disappointment. Not with Cadie, of course. I could not have asked for a better daughter. I'm disappointed with the circumstances that surround her birth. If I could do it over again, I would in a heart-beat. This time with my mother in law pacing in the waiting room, my father in law cracking jokes, and my husband holding my hand as we walk down to the nursery to compare all the other babies to our beautiful Cadie.

My friend's delivery reminded me of what my own delivery should have been like. I'll admit, I cried a little. Tears of regret, sorrow, and yes tears of happiness for my friend.

6 week pics

Cadie is 6 weeks old today! Here are a few pics from our "photo shoot" =)

Guardian Angels

I used to be really skeptical about whether angels existed or not. Believing that a lost loved one somehow sprouted wings and watched over us from the clouds just seemed too outrageous to me. I remember when my great aunt died when I was 6 and I would go around trying to see her face looking over the edge of a cloud. I never saw her.

That all changed the night of my senior prom. You see, big events and I don't get along very well. For every good moment in my life, there's a bad one that immediately follows. I woke up the next morning to the news that my grandmom, who helped raise me, had passed away in her sleep. I was absolutely devastated.

The week before prom, she took me out jewelry shopping. I picked out a necklace and earrings and was ready to go, but she had set her eyes on this $3 bracelet. She finally talked me into getting it, despite the fact that I am not a bracelet person.

Halfway through prom, I noticed that the bracelet had disappeared. My husband (don't worry- he wasn't my husband at the time) and I spent the rest of the night checking bathrooms, scouring the dance floor, and asking people if they'd seen it. It's ridiculous the amount of time we spent looking for that $3 bracelet, but we went home empty handed, or empty wristed.

The next morning, I called him to tell him the news of my grandma's passing. That's weird, he said. He went to return the tux he rented and noticed that there was a pocket on the inside of the jacket that he hadn't noticed before. It was sewn shut, but he could feel something inside. So he got some scissors and cut it open to reveal my broken bracelet.

I know there could be a million ways that bracelet could have ended up in his jacket, but I like to believe that it was my grandmom's way of telling me she was ok and that she is looking down on me. I don't have to look for her face peering over a cloud- she gave me something physical.

And now Cadie has her own guardian angel. I know my mother-in-law is up there brushing wings with my grandmom.

Silence

That's what we're listening to right now. It's the most beautiful sound in the world we call babies. Cadie's had a rough day. We ate lunch with grandpa at Applebees and she was so well behaved. She just sat in her seat and cooed while we ate.

Then we came home and that's when the fussiness started. You could be sitting with her almost asleep and she would just cry out. I'm thinking she's gassy, so I gave her some gripe water which usually solves that issue. No such luck. Her swing's batteries were dead so we had to hand swing her which didn't last long.

Finally, mommy went to WalMart to buy some new batteries. Ok, batteries and nail polish to prettify herself, but whose counting, right? Well, that did the trick. The bug is fast asleep swinging away. Sometimes I wish they made an adult sized one.

And here's a pic of Cadie doing tummy time. We're slowly starting to like this!

Smiles!

I just wanted to shout it from on top of a mountain! … but I didn’t have a mountain. I had a blog and a camera. Look. I report the news. That’s what I do, and today’s top story, in my world, read something like this: The bug is smiling!



That's a quote from Anchorman, by the way =)

Also, I made a tutu for Cadie. We immediately had to try it on and snap some pics.